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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737999">why does the sea rush to shore?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderfirstlove/pseuds/tenderfirstlove'>tenderfirstlove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Twins, Bad Parenting, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming of Age, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired by The End of The Fucking World, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Modern Era, Murder, On the Run, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Partners in Crime, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Single Parents, Trauma Bonding, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, no beta we die like Glenn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:28:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderfirstlove/pseuds/tenderfirstlove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't they know it's the end of the world? ...Cause you don't love me anymore. </p><p>Doesn't he know how much he's changed him?  By a touch of the pinkie, and the awkward mashing of clumsy lips? Just from a sigh, and a hand cowering in the dark until it found his?</p><p>Dimitri isn't quite sure how he's turned out like this, but what he does know is that he's scared to find out he isn't what he was so sure he was.</p><p>That is, an absolute psychopath.</p><p>(Or at least he felt like he was one.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. all it takes is a word from you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dimitri has never been quite sure why he felt so hollow.</p>
<p>But maybe, the solution is something he never thought to think of.</p>
<p>He'll just have to see.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blankly, he stared at the nothingness in front of him as he woke up, he sat up rigidly before getting out from the covers and going to clean his teeth and wash his face— his regular morning routine, done rigidly like the rest of the 364 days of the year.</p>
<p>As he stood in front of the mirror he gathered some cool water in the palms of his cupped hands, waiting for it to collect enough to tip and flow back to the sink before he splashed his face relentlessly.</p>
<p>He let out a forced sigh, water collecting in his nostrils being evicted as he met his own gaze in the dirty mirror, decorated and caked in toothpaste spots and dust. There was a nothingness that laid over him, akin to a blanket. It kept him numb, and clean from emotion, much like the thin white veils of blankets that hung over polished furniture to keep it from dusting, decaying slowly to the granules of time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri was only eight when he first realised he wasn't like the other children that grew up with him. </p>
<p>It was the year when this bleakness within him started, one day he awoke and suddenly everything felt like it was utterly, completely pointless.</p>
<p>Why should he play? For what reason was there to eat when he'll be hungry again? Why should he make friends if they were going to drift apart in a few years? </p>
<p>There were so many things that were meaningless.</p>
<p>There was so many things that seemed so far away.</p>
<p>Like his mother.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he was ten, his father gave him a switchblade. </p>
<p>
  <em>"For protection, of your beloved."</em>
</p>
<p>                                                                    He said.</p>
<p>The next time Dimitri went out to the forest near his home, it was the first time he used the knife. He tried to catch a rabbit, he set up a trap and everything, but he struggled to kill it. The white bunny clawed him right by his collarbones, giving him a nasty infection in the following days.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Why did you do that, you stupid boy!"</em>
</p>
<p>Dimitri only remained silent, getting a slap on the back of his head before he was dragged in by his wrist and his wound was cleaned up.</p>
<p>
  <em>"You have to be careful, Dimitri. Don't ever forget that."</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>On the eve of his fifteenth birthday, he cut down a wild dog. It was a lonely mutt, and weak too, abandoned by its previous owners and so Dimitri lured it in with some fresh meat only to kill it and bury it later— Somewhere where no one would find it.</p>
<p>After his first successful kill, he hunted more animals, many were small and insignificant. He mostly went for rats and other pests, figuring no one would miss them. They made the perfect snack of adrenaline for a while, until it became something normal to kill them, like breathing, or even sleeping.</p>
<p>But after a while... It got boring. The fear and the adrenaline start to wear off, and it becomes a routine like any other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wake up. Get clean. Eat. Go to school. Come home. Eat. Hunt. Get clean. Sleep.</p>
<p>Wake up. Get clean. Eat. Go to school. Come home. Eat. Hunt. Get clean. Sleep.</p>
<p>Wake up. Get clean. Eat. Go to school. Come home. Eat. Hunt. Get clean. Sleep.</p>
<p>Wake up. Get clean. Eat. Go to schoo—                                                             </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so, the mind starts to wander, what if I went after something bigger?</p>
<p>                            Much bigger—</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's when <em>he</em> appeared, the perfect victim.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Is this seat taken?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was perfect, smaller than he was and skinnier.</p>
<p>His face was bland and bleak,<em> 'average with a charm'</em>, the blond supposed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No one would miss him.</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the time he couldn't realise it, but this was a part of something new, something that would change him.</p>
<p>For better or for worse. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello.............. i have many unfinished works........... but here is another one............... oopsie!!!! let me know if anyone gives a fuck about all the conveluted backgrounds i made up for them cus if yes, i will leave them in the end notes of my upcoming chapters!!</p>
<p>thank u byebye!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. why does the sun go on shining?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Being in a relationship was tricky. </p><p>It wasn't all that it was made out to be by their classmates.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the closing of the day, Dimitri was waiting for him to come out the door, his hands gripping his bike handles in a nervous fit to calm his senses. In the end, he decided to pretend to fall in love with his target, it'd make a kill more easy to have them in a private place after all.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>Dimitri looked up, his own face seemed tired as ever.</p><p>"Hello."</p><p>Byleth met his gaze as he sat down next to him quietly, his eyes fixated on Dimitri's dark button-up shirt pattern.</p><p>"...Were you waiting for me?"</p><p>He didn't answer the question, it seemed pointless to, and instead he leaned in and pressed a single chaste kiss against Byleth's air-cracked lips. The texture was odd, but it wasn't so bad it'd make him pull away in disgust. This little detail about Byleth was nothing new to Dimitri, he'd known that the new wallflower at their school wasn't much of a socialite— he instead opted to pick at his skin, or in this case, chew on his lips.</p><p>In that moment Dimitri didn't know which was worse— pretending to be in love or the awkward sloshing of their lips against one another as they opened their mouths and tilted their heads to kiss more comfortably.</p><p>It felt nice, if he had to be honest with himself. It was nice to be close with someone who wasn't his father, or mother. This intimacy was something he wasn't used to receiving so freely— not when his father had so many expectations of him. </p><p>Byleth's fingers made their way to Dimitri's neck, slipping below to map the skin below his few first unbuttoned buttons on his shirt, he slid the palm of his fingers over the scar he felt  near his collarbone.</p><p>With a sigh into their kiss he pulled away bluntly, "What happened to your chest?"</p><p>Dimitri looked into Byleth's eyes for a second before pulling him back into a stubborn kiss.</p><p>"Just an accident."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After their little kissing spree, Dimitri decided to just walk around town with his now (assumable) boyfriend.</p><p>Their hands clumsily brushed a few times, their knuckles knocking against one another's until Byleth just took his hand and squeezed it, the blond could only stare at their joined hands. </p><p>There was a moment of warmth he didn't understand. </p><p>He had to do it soon, whenever he got a chance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to go on a date?"</p><p><em>'It's not because I like you. It's not because of that weird warmth I get in my chest when you invade my space. I just need you to trust me, so I can kill you already', </em>though Dimitri stared at him with a small smile, there wasn't a lot of comfort behind it.</p><p>Byleth stopped on the empty sidewalk, looking at the list of shop signs on the streets before he pointed at a cafe.</p><p>"Okay, is that place good? I don't really care where we go." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that's how they ended up in the booth, watching cars go by outside, the air empty and silent until the hostess came by.</p><p>"So what sort of things do you like?"</p><p>Dimitri stared at him, <em>'Killing things, maybe killing you.'</em></p><p>"I like to listen to old music. Like the nineties."</p><p>Byleth just nodded, "That's cool. I like older songs too. Who's your favouri—", the boy smiled, crossing his arms on top of the table before one of the waiters came.</p><p>"Are you guys ready to order?", he had unruly hair, and smooth tanned skin that was left unblemished— And when he smiled at Byleth it turned him a little pink, which made Dimitri have this weird sensation in his heart, this odd sort of clenching relentlessly.</p><p>"Yes, I'll have a cherry sundae and a chocolate pancake stack with whipped cream...", Looking closer at the uniform the boy wore, he could make out a faded name, Claude.</p><p>He pursed his lips as Dimitri finished his order, he looked down the list of drinks on the menu.</p><p>"I'll just, erm. I'll have a iced chocolate milkshake?"</p><p>The blond frowned before butting in, "—And an extra straw."</p><p>Claude nodded as he jotted it down on his little notepad before winking at Byleth,"I'll be back with your order shortly." As the boy sauntered into the kitchen behind the counter, he began to wonder if maybe killing Byleth wasn't such a good idea. </p><p>He didn't know what the clenching in his heart was, but he could feel it wasn't good.</p><p>Especially when that Claude was around.</p><p>"I'll see you later..!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They wondered around town until it got to dusk time, at which point they stopped off at Byleth's house to just sit and talk, though most of it was filled with stuff silence.</p><p>"Your house is quite cosy. A lot of... Furs?"</p><p>Byleth nodded as he slipped out of hit coat, "My dad and I used to hunt sometimes back at our old town. Fodlan is quite different... There's not a lot of woodland here." He took a seat on the couch, the pillows practically swallowing him as he let his weight be taken by them.</p><p>Dimitri looked around the living room curiously, making sure to take note of some things that stood out to him, particularly the lack of pictures of Byleth's father. Many were of him and a woman that donned the same shade of hair, and most of them were dated when he was younger.</p><p>"Don't you have any pictures of your dad?"</p><p>He stayed silent before his stomach growled, "I'm going to make something to eat."</p><p>The blond felt like he hit a sore spot, but he let the other one leave to the next room, deciding he shouldn't pry too much— At least not him, he could still look all over the furniture that donned the room although. So as soon as he heard a kettle being put on and the familiar buzz of a microwave he looked in every drawer and cabinet that was in the room until he peeked underneath a chest of drawers to find a dusty shoebox.</p><p>He peeked to the doorway to the kitchen before he pulled it out carefully, lifting the box's top without disturbing the cake of dust and he looked through some of the pictures.</p><p>It was a lot of pictures of a very young Byleth and... his father? He wore a slightly too-big bucket hat, and a puffy fishing vest that was only matched by his father's. They looked happy. </p><p>"Do you want anything?"</p><p>Dimitri slipped the photo into his pocket before putting the rest back and closing the box, pushing it soundly back to its place. He dusted himself off and lazily walked into the kitchen.</p><p>"No. Well, maybe some chamomile tea? If you have some, that is."</p><p>Byleth just hummed as he was busying himself with his own cup of tea, stirring the sugar and boiling water together, dunking the tea bag in and out until it had nothing else to give before he threw it out, "Any preference of cup?" He mumbled as he reached up to the highest shelf in the cabinets to pull out a blue cup Dimitri pointed to.</p><p>"So... Byleth? What do you exactly do for fun?" </p><p>"I guess I listen to music and stuff. I play the violin too, but, recently it's been hard to get back into it... Especially with the move and all." </p><p>His voice was smooth, and not too deep, it could've easily lulled Dimitri to sleep if he were tired. All he could do was watch Byleth's movements, it felt domestic to him, and oddly familiar.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Before he knew it they were sat side by side on the couch, staring into the nothingness as they sipped their tea.</p><p>And then they were back to kissing slowly, softly as if they were both something precious to each other.</p><p>They barely knew anything important of one another but it didn't matter. They didn't need to know about each other's favourite foods, or their darkest little secrets and fears.</p><p>For now they could be young and dumb, and innocent.</p><p>This was nothing like their first kiss; it wasn't awkward, or fumbled. There was no awkward bumping of their noses, no weird chattering of their teeth— there was only the cradling of each other's cheek, and the odd warmth that came from when their eyelashes flattered across each other's skin delicately, like a lingering, ghostly presence. They were so engrossed in this tactless affection for one another they barely paid attention to the opening and the shutting of the front door, or of the dropping of the shopping bags onto the floor.</p><p> </p><p>"Byleth..?"</p><p> </p><p>He pulled away from Dimitri distractedly, body stilling as he turned to the direction of his mother whilst the blond squeezed his hand in his.</p><p>"... Welcome home. We'll just.. We'll just go upstairs."</p><p>Byleth tugged Dimitri upstairs, their drinks left forgotten, steaming, on the coffee table as Sitri stared after them as they ran upstairs.</p><p>She sighed as she began to collect the dropped produce, shaking her head distractedly.</p><p> </p><p>They would have to have a talk.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Byleth's weird blond boyfriend would stay until dinner?</p><p> </p><p>Sitri gave a sigh as she went into the kitchen, sometimes life just threw too many things her way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im trying out some new formatting thats different from the rest of my fics............ we'll see  how that turns out tho,,</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. it's been so weird lately</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They didn't know where they were going to go— only that there was no one to stop them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my friend said this has a very scary-sweet vibe to it<br/>she's not wrong tho-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So. How long has this...", Sitri gestured between Dimitri and Byleth with her pointer finger, "been an, uh, a thing?", Byleth shifted in his seat uncomfortably, limbs kept close to take up as little space as possible under his mother's scrutinised gaze, "Were you even going to tell me? Were you ever going to tell me you're gay?" She frowned, arms crossed.</p><p>The blond looked between the two, he didn't know why, but his hand went to Byleth's own.</p><p>"I..",Byleth looked down at the table, "I don't even know if I'm gay—"</p><p>"Well, I'd wager kissing another boy is pretty homosexual, so..."</p><p>He just pursed his lips in response.</p><p>Dimitri frowned as he took his hand from Byleth's own and instead put it on his shoulder to pull him closer, "What if he just wants to experiment? Why should that be any of your business? Why should you be privy to any of that knowledge? He'll tell you when <em>he's</em> ready."</p><p>Sitri's lips fell into a strict line, "What about all those matches I set up for you? What will I tell the parents?"</p><p>"I don't know—"</p><p>"—That your son is already in a relationship, <em>happily</em>, and he has no interest in marriage." </p><p>She held his gaze for a second before shaking her head, "Fine", she sighed, "Fine, I'll just, handle it." Sitri stood up and exited the room, probably to head to her bedroom and 'handle it', as she said.</p><p>Dimitri turned to Byleth, rubbing his back awkwardly,"...Are you alright?", the other just shrugged his shoulders before he covered his face with his hands, <em>'Ugh, Goddess. How do I even comfort him?'</em></p><p>"Can we just go upstairs?"</p><p>"...Alright."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It turned out that comforting someone wasn't so hard.</p><p>Byleth was half asleep in Dimitri's hold on him, his back met the blond's chest, they fit like a pair of odd puzzle pieces.</p><p>"...Thanks."</p><p>"For?"</p><p>"Standing up for me? It's just... It's tough to talk to my mother sometimes. I just stopped trying to even tell her what <em>I </em> wanted, because she just wouldn't listen."</p><p>The silence was back, but it wasn't full of tension like at the kitchen table, it was mellow and comfortable.</p><p>They stayed like that for some time until Dimitri heard the front door again.</p><p>"I guess she's gone, again., like always."</p><p>"Does she just leave you by yourself?"</p><p>Byleth turned around in his hold to face him, "Yes, most of the time. I don't really... I don't really mind anymore. It's just, it's a routine now? So it doesn't feel out of place."</p><p>"That's kind of shitty, isn't it?"</p><p>"Yeah. It is."</p><p>Somehow, Byleth looked even smaller than he usually was, but it felt nice to hold some so fragile in his arms— Dimitri knew he had to do it sometime, or he'd never do it. He'd excused all the opportunities he had as inconvenient so far. He knew it was all bullshit, but he refused to believe he was anything but the thing he thought he was (which was an absolute emotionless soon-to-be murderer.)</p><p>"I'm sorry. This is the first day we're together and you had to come to my house when this was going on."</p><p>"It's okay, things happen. It doesn't matter."</p><p>"Right."</p><p>Dimitri shifted as he pulled the other boy closer, "If it is any consolation, my father is also a prick."</p><p>"Really? I feel like that shouldn't make me feel better but it does." Byleth didn't turn around, yet the blond could feel the ghostly caress of his hand over his own, a tender sign that made his stomach nauseous and his head spin uncomfortably.</p><p>He decided not to think too much of it.</p><p>"Sometimes I just want to punch him."</p><p>"....Why don't you?" This time, he did turn around, "Sometimes doing what you feel is better than the consequences that follow. You can just stay with me if you don't like being at home. I don't like being here either but... At least we'll be together."</p><p>Dimitri figured he had a good point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a long session of spooning in an oddly uncomfortable yet comfortable style, Dimitri left through Byleth's window to avoid any confrontation with Sitri, who had come back again some time during their weird whispery conversations.</p><p>"I'll see you tomorrow?"</p><p>Dimitri nodded before he gave Byleth a chaste kiss on the lips and awkwardly sliding down the slanted roof before dropping down to the ground.</p><p>The boy just watched as he ran away from the house as Sitri opened the door to shout at whoever was there. Byleth jumped onto his small bed, picking his phone up from the floor and putting on a playlist his friend made full of cheesy and horrible love songs he used to judge but now revelled in.</p><p>"This is so stupid."</p><p>He sighed into his pillow, the faint smell of Dimitri's shampoo wrapping around him like a blanket as he closed his eyes and was slowly lulled to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Dimitri arrived at home, he was greeted none too kindly by his father before he went to his room to sit and stare at his wall numbly. All he could focus on was tracing the design of the wallpaper pattern that whirled into one another, jumping through hoops and lanky lines before they split and fell together once more. Eventually he fell asleep, still in the clothes he wore to the academy, barely able to care about it all.</p><p> </p><p>When he awoke, he could barely keep his mind from going back repeatedly to the image of Byleth's soft face as they laid on the sheets together— fingers laced together delicately, the grainy and low quality sound of the music playing from his phone that rang in their ears, the way Dimitri could've stared at the curved and sculpted lines that formed Byleth's melancholy face.</p><p>"Dimitri! Get down here."</p><p>The blond let out a stressed sigh from his nose, getting up and going downstairs to answer his father's shouting.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Don't forget that Anselma and her daughter are having lunch with us today. I need you to make a good impression."</p><p>Dimitri pursed his lips, "I have somewhere to be."</p><p>Lambert simple turned to him with a frown, "You've never gone out before, where could you possibly go? This is <em>important, </em>so just reschedule whatever you have going on."</p><p>He hated this. This fake caring for him. The fact his father wished to remarry. </p><p>"Look, that isn't something I can just reschedule. I'm going on a.. On a date."</p><p>Well, it wasn't a complete lie, was it?</p><p>Lambert took a second to mull this over before nodding his head, "Fine. But you have to stay at least for the main dish. It is rude to skip such a meal, you know it so too. I wish you could just accept that we all have to move on sometime." </p><p>"Fine."</p><p> </p><p>Noon came swiftly, and before Dimitri could even register the time, he was sitting there with the others, spoon not touching his bowl of soup defiantly as his father just stared at him with a stern gaze.</p><p>"May I be excused? I have a previous engagement."</p><p>Lambert put his own spoon down with a sharp sound as it clinked against his porcelain bowl, "Dimitri, I already told you this morning you must stay until we are finished. It is <em>rude</em> to leave so suddenly." Anselma looked between Lambert and Dimitri, unsure of what to say.</p><p>"I am going whether you like it or not. I am not about to keep my...girlfriend, waiting."</p><p>Anselma's expression turned worried at that as she addressed Lambert, "Come now, Lambert. You shouldn't keep him from his beloved. It is of little significance that he wished to leave. I won't be offended if he does and I am sure neither will Edelgard." The girl just nodded as she carried on eating her soup, more interested in the dish than the contents of the conversation.</p><p>"And I'm taking one of the cars."</p><p>Lambert stood up in anger, "Dimitri—!"</p><p>Before his father could chase after him he left the room to go to the garage, swiping a key off the key holder and getting into a car before speeding off to Byleth's house.</p><p>He wasn't going to let anything stop him from executing his plan finally.</p><p>Not even his father.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Claude jumped at the knock on the window, he could hear the slipping of feet on the roof tiles before he pulled the window with his fingers, "Where's Byleth, Clyde?"</p><p>"My name's actually Claude, so.."</p><p>"Shut up, where is he?"</p><p>Byleth walked in at that moment, he gave concerned look to Dimitri, "What is it? Why didn't you just use the front door?" He helped pull him in through the window, albeit horribly as they toppled to the ground together before Claude helped them up.</p><p>"I thought your mother might've been home."</p><p>"Well, she was, but she left a bit ago. Didn't she, Byleth?", Claude smiled at him as the other nodded, dusting himself off before sitting onto the mattress.</p><p>"Yes, she left for work around.... half an hour ago? I think." Dimitri nodded as he jumped onto the bed and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Sometimes just want to leave", he felt Byleth shift to lay down and he hooked their hands together.</p><p>Oh one day Byleth <em>will </em> leave, just not in the way he would think he will.</p><p>"Well... Why don't you? Dimitri just came with a car, your mother isn't home... Isn't this the perfect opportunity?"</p><p>Dimitri pulled Byleth's hand in his up to his mouth, laying a cold kiss onto it, "Alright, Byleth?" the boy flustered but gave a sigh with a nod.</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>"Great!" Claude smiled as he started to search for his boots, "Let's go then!"</p><p>Dimitri furrowed his brows as he sat up, hair ruffled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Wait, <em>what </em>?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yay claude joins the mix permanently!!<br/>if youve seen the show you know this might go a bit downhill from here lol... oopsie</p><p>also yeah every chapter title is a line from one of the many songs of TEOTFW's OST :] </p><p>edit: i actually changed the title LOL so its actually angry me by graham coxon</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. love like yours that's grown so cold can never burn again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now on the run, where will they go?<br/>To the ends of the earth and the beginnings of the sun?<br/>Or maybe just a little prairie across the hills?</p><p>Though.... Sometimes life takes you to places you wished you hadn't gone.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw; slight non-con actions toward the end</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their arrangement was non-negotiable. </p><p>Dimitri drove whilst Claude sat next to him in the passenger seat, Byleth took up the back by laying down for a nap, which gave the blond ample time to make easy conversation. Between silences he gazed briefly in the rear mirror, checking on Byleth occasionally, sometimes seeing him shift and hear him sigh before stilling once more. </p><p>"So. How did you meet Byleth?"</p><p>The tan boy rolled the window up on his side, turning to look at the other, "Coincidence, mostly. He happened to like coming to the cafe, and I just so happened to work there. Simple, isn't it?" There was a click of a seatbelt as Claude unbuttoned himself to sit more comfortably, drawing his legs up so his knees rested on the dashboard whilst he slouched, "You?"</p><p>Sky blue eyes lazily regarded him before looking back to the road.</p><p>"Coincidence. He asked to sit with me at lunch, being the new person at a school can be.... challenging."</p><p>Claude hummed, "Are you two going out then?"</p><p>Dimitri jaggedly stopped the car at the red light, "Yes. So lay off."</p><p>The brown haired one laughed, very entertained, "No need to give me warnings... I know when I'm pushing the boundary. I'm afraid I am flirtatious by nature." He looked to the backseat to see Byleth turning to face them, face peaceful as his eyelashes laid frozen, "I am a little jealous. I was going to ask him out— imagine my surprise when he walked in with <em>you</em> in tow!"</p><p>He gripped the driving wheel tighter, "If you do I suppose it's only up to him." Though he didn't like the thought of Byleth going with the other boy, it wasn't like he could exert any control over him. It'd only lead to Dimitri being kicked out of their company, making it less easy for him to execute his kill. </p><p>It was a conundrum. </p><p>"Anyway. We should go and eat something soon, before we left me and Byleth didn't have a chance to eat anything."</p><p>"Well, excuse me for not waiting 'til you made your five-course meal. Time was of the essence."</p><p> </p><p>"Can you two be a little less loud?"</p><p> </p><p>They regarded each other for a second before sighing, "Sorry, Byleth."</p><p>Claude leaned back to stroke his hair, "We'll be more quiet so just go back to sleep, okay? We'll wake you up when we stop for a break." Byleth just nodded as he leaned into his hand before burrowing back into his jacket, which he used as a sort of too short blanket. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eventually, they did pull over by a rest-stop. Sitting at a small table, side by side, with Byleth squished between them as they were served by this shy blue-haired girl.</p><p>"So what would you like today?"</p><p>Byleth read down his menu, "I'd like an... Erm. A hot dog, with no mustard, and a side of fried chips please. Oh, I'll also just take a glass of pineapple juice." He nodded at her before looking over to Claude, who was still unsire of what to get.</p><p>"I'll just have a cheeseburger, with no onions and a small salad, as well as a glass of coke."</p><p>The girl wrote it all down, "Right. And you, sir?" She looked over to Claude who just hummed before putting the menu down.</p><p>"I think just a grilled chicken sandwich and a cup of coffee." </p><p>She jotted it down before taking their menus and going back to the kitchen in order to pass along their orders. </p><p>The three sat stoically until Byleth broke the silence.</p><p>"The next time you talk of me, please make sure I'm awake. It's a little awkward to be awoken to the sounds of two boys bickering." </p><p>Dimitri nodded, slipping a hand around Byleth's waist as he shifted closer to him, "Of course. I apologize." Claude just smirked as he played with a tinge of his darkened hair before he kissed it suggestively.</p><p>"I will keep that in mind."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Before long, their food was served and they dug in, Byleth eagerly devouring everything on his plate whilst Claude took his time (though still eating quite fast) whereas Dimitri took his time, eating a small portion before deciding he'd rather just drink his beverage and be done with it all. </p><p>"Mmm! This is so good..", Byleth covered his mouth with a hand as he talked, still chewing some bites he'd taken. </p><p>Claude nodded in agreement, "I think this is a rare time where diner slash rest-stop food isn't bland and bleak."</p><p>"It was okay."</p><p>"You didn't even finish your food, Dimitri. Is it not good or do you feel unwell? Maybe Claude should take over the wheel for a little while." Byleth's voice was filled with concern but his eyes were stuck to his plate, the food looked enticing— and it smelled even better than it looked. Dimitri rolled his eyes before he used his fork to slide his meal onto Byleth's plate, a small smile tugging at his lips as Byleth squeezed the hand that lay on his waist before digging in.</p><p>"I don't mind driving in turns, I already have my licence so it's alright."</p><p>"I guess that's it then..", Dimitri leaned back in his seat, sighing contently as he thought of sitting with Byleth in the back. Maybe if Byleth needed a toilet break before they drove again, he could corner him in the bathroom and leave his body there before driving off.</p><p>Despite his light frown, the blond was mostly content— he simply had to bide his time until they were alone, without the tan boy to distract him or get in the way.</p><p>Some time soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After they paid, no one needed a piss so they went back to driving aimlessly on the road. The sky became darker and it began to rain in thin and small droplets, the road ahead was hard to see and the fact the road was surrounded by thick trees didn't help their vision.</p><p>"Doesn't this car have some sort of lights on the front?"</p><p>"Err.. It should have? It isn't so old to not have any there. Fuck, maybe this car was a little faulty." </p><p>Claude groaned as he squinted his eyes, "Great. I don't suppose anyone brought their phones to use as some sort of light then?"</p><p>There was a small silence.</p><p>"Well that's just lovely. We should stop or find some place to stay. I don't think I'm in the mood to be in an accident right now."</p><p>Dimitri rolled his eyes as he put his hands on the steering wheel, "Here, let me see if there's anything behind here, like a button or something maybe?"</p><p>"Dude get your hands off, I'm trying to drive— What are you? Stop it!" Claude frowned as he used a spare hand to push at Dimitri in order to get him to back off but the blond wouldn't obey the wordless gesture.</p><p>"If you would just let me see then maybe—"</p><p>Byleth peeked over the two to see a tree getting closer and closer.</p><p>"Stop it— The both of you there's a—!"</p><p> </p><p>The car drove straight into a thick pine tree, and Byleth was thrown forward into the two boys, who were also jerked forward due to their lack of seatbelts, eventually his head connecting with the gear stick with a sickly sounding noise before there was a groan of pain.</p><p>Claude's forehead hit the wheel and a massive bag came out, "Jesus, fuck! Look what you did you blond idiot!", he growled as he was trying to stuff the pillow away from himself, "Byleth, are you okay? What was that sound?" Dimitri frowned at him as he pulled up Byleth's head and moved his bangs away to see a nasty lump forming on his forehead.</p><p>"Fuuuuck. Let's deal with this in a moment, let's just get the fuck out of here first."</p><p>The two in the front quickly got out before Dimitri opened the back door and carefully pulled Byleth out, whilst Claude quickly grabbed their jackets before they stood at a distance from the car.</p><p> </p><p>Well, shit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They stood at the side of a road they found after trekking for a bit, though only two of them were really doing any walking. Byleth was just getting a free ride via piggy backing from Dimitri for most of the time.</p><p>"Why is no one stopping? This is the worst."</p><p>"Maybe it's 'cus you look like a weirdo. Only other weirdos stop for weirdos", Dimitri mumbled as he held Byleth close on his lap.</p><p>"Well. Shut up. <em>Someone</em> has to stop some time."</p><p>Claude kept sticking his thumb out, until a worn van pulled aside and stopped, the window rolled down to reveal an old man with dark ginger hair, his face was tired and wrinkled, aged like a prune.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, hello there. What are you doing out here?", Claude looked back to Dimitri and Byleth, to which the blond just shook his head, "Listen, do you want a ride or not?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Get in then."</p><p>Claude just waved them over, opening the back door for them and watching them get in before he got into the front seat.</p><p>"If we get murdered, I promise I'll throw you under the bus before Byleth." </p><p>"Glad to know it's mutual."</p><p>"Shut up, both of you."</p><p>Dimitri shut the back side-door and the driver started driving away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So... What's happened to you then?", the man glanced in the mirror, eyes flittering to Byleth's bruised and slightly bloody forehead, "Get in a fight?"</p><p>Claude stiffened, "Nothing really."</p><p>The man looked unconvinced.</p><p>"Listen, I'm not a fucking cop or anything, you understand? Just thought.. Well, whatever", There was an awkward silence as they carried on, "There's a medical kit at the back there, you should probably dress that nasty bruise." Dimitri just glared at him as he felt around for the kit, listening to the aged chortle that came from the man, "No need to thank me..."</p><p>"Wouldn't thank you if my life depended on it."</p><p>"Dimitri!"</p><p>He looked to Byleth as he wet a cotton bud with antiseptic, dragging it gently across his forehead to clean the speckles of  blood away, "Still not sorry", with a mumble he set the bloodied cotton away and opted for a bandage, wrapping it around his head,  making sure no hair was stuck to the wound.</p><p>"You're funny, kid. I'll give you that", the man went on driving, barely sparing the blond a glance as they made their way down the desolate roads. Dimitri pulled Byleth close to himself, and the boy nestled his head onto his shoulder. The taller one could barely look away from the other, hand playing with his hair occasionally until it lulled him to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>When Claude eventually fell to sleep as well, he looked at the mirror, noticing a set of tags jingling on them, dates and names carved into them, "Were you in the army?" the man nodded as he laid a kiss on Byleth's bandaged forehead, "What was it like?"</p><p>"War is a cruel mistress, like any other."</p><p>"Did you kill anyone?"</p><p>The ginger man held his gaze in the rear-view mirror.</p><p>"How many?"</p><p>"Well... It'd be a bit strange to keep count, wouldn't it?"</p><p> </p><p>Dimitri looked down to Byleth silently.</p><p>'<em>Definitely would've kept count.</em>'</p><p>"Right."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something had to give, and soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later on in the day, they stopped at a café and the man (who they'd now found out was called <em>Gilbert </em>) had bought a cup of hot chocolate for each of them, and a coffee for himself. </p><p>"Right, here you are then."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>"... Yeah." </p><p>They each took a cup and sat in silence, Byleth trying to sip occasionally, but eventually burning his tongue.</p><p>"Ow!"</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>He nodded his head, putting the cup down, "My tongue hurts now... Ugh."</p><p>Claude just laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Claude left for a smoke whilst Byleth remained seated, chatting about the man's family picture. He seemed to have a sweet ginger little girl and a late wife which Dimitri couldn't be bothered to listen to further when he could just fantasize about taking the last breath of his supposed 'lover'.</p><p>"I'm gonna go to the toilet real quick before we head out."</p><p>The man's eyes raked over his figure before he stood up as well.</p><p>"Might as well put one in the bag too, y'know?"</p><p> </p><p>Dimitri just made a weirded out face before he went toward the toilet doors.</p><p> </p><p>Just what was this guy up to?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well, he found out when the man grabbed his hand and put it on his cock.</p><p>"... What the fuck?"</p><p>Dimitri tried to tug his hand away but the man had a firm grip on it.</p><p>"Let me go, you creep—"</p><p>He eventually did shake his had free, barely having enough time to zip himself up before he threw a punch at the man's face.</p><p>He may not have been <em>his</em> father, but he was a father worth punching nonetheless.</p><p>"You're fucking disgusting. Give me your wallet." </p><p>"No... I, No."</p><p>The man glared up at him as Dimitri leaned down to pull out his hunting dagger.</p><p>"I said. Give. Me. Your. Wallet. Or I'll go to your house, and tell your little daughter what his father likes to do to boys in café rest-stops, and I'll tell the police too, you fucker."</p><p>He took a step closer, crushing the man's hand beneath his feet, to which the ginger let out a pained groan.</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>Dimitri stepped off of his hand, dagger still pulled out and pointed at him as the man threw his wallet onto the bathroom tiles after standing up and putting his dick back into his pants. The blond didn't put his dagger away until Byleth came in and asked where the man was going.</p><p> </p><p>"Who cares about that freak? We have some money now."</p><p>He picked up the wallet and opened it, pulling out a thick wad of cash.</p><p> </p><p>Byleth didn't need to know about what that guy did, and neither did  that annoying mousy haired boy either.</p><p> </p><p>At least they could afford a hotel now, even if it was for one night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yall who watched the tv series know whats gon happen next chapter,,,,, o h b o i<br/>song: where is love - the monzas</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. have you ever loved someone deep down, in your heart?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some things go unsaid.</p><p>(Others do not.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>at the end of the motel scene there is art<br/>enjoy todays chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After mugging that ancient man, they hiked further and stumbled into a motel. It was drab, and eccentrically nineties from the awful, garish designs and paintings that hung on the walls to the furniture itself in the lobby.</p><p>"A... double room?"</p><p>"That's right. A double room, with a double bed."</p><p>Dimitri put a hand on his hip out of annoyance as the blonde, bulky woman's eyes roamed over their forms. Dipping down when Byleth entered her gaze, mostly since he was a little shorter than the two, but by no means short. With a little sigh she bent over and pulled out a room card before sliding it over the desk.</p><p>"Here you are then."</p><p>Claude took the card and went off to find the room, Dimitri following shortly behind after Byleth snapped out of his daze. </p><p>When they were finally in the room, Claude and Byleth flopped onto the big bed, creasing the fresh sheets underneath their weight, "Take your coats off at least." Dimitri said as he shrugged his coat off and folded it neatly before putting it on a chair. The two grumbled and threw their coats onto the floor before laying back down stubbornly. Dimitri squeezed his way onto the bed, shoving them slightly away with his lanky build in order to lay down, before he made a grab for the remote, "Any preferences?" He took the short silence which came following the question as a no.</p><p>So they flipped through the channels on tv, occasionally flipping through some ones with porn (much to their collective embarrassment) before they found one for quiet night-time radio, full of older songs to soothe them to sleep.</p><p>"... I'm kind of hungry. I'm gonna go to the vending machine."</p><p>Claude sat up with a sigh before leaving the room quietly, leaving the two of them alone.</p><p>Byleth kept blankly staring up at the ceiling whilst Dimitri just stared at him— his everything; his short, stubborn eyelashes and the way his nose bridge sloped to the curve of his pink lips. </p><p>Sometimes I just want to kiss you.</p><p>"You do?"</p><p>"Wait what."</p><p>Dimitri sat up suddenly.</p><p>"Did I say that out-loud?"</p><p>He felt his face heat up unexpectedly at the nod of Byleth's emotionless face.</p><p>"You.. You can. If you want to— uh. If you.. If, erm. Yeah."</p><p>Byleth joined him as he sat up, inching closer to him on the shitty motel mattress, springs audibly wrenching beneath them before they met in a press of their lips for the third time.</p><p>This time, they didn't close their eyes, or jab their tongues together messily, no calm breaths that brushed each other's skin like a dustpan with rough edges. It was just a prolonged pressure on their lips, still against one another as their hands threaded together in an unspoken gesture, before they opened their mouths with a small sigh against one another's lips. He felt a rough, slender hand come up into his hair and pull him closer gently, they craned their necks slightly for a more comfortable position.</p><p>"Dimitri...?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>They backed off just enough to rub their lips together.</p><p>"I think I could fall in love with you."</p><p>He put a chaste kiss onto Byleth's open lips, smacking them together quietly in the dimly lit room.</p><p>"Me too", said Dimitri before he pushed Byleth down and curled around the other like a blanket, spooning him from behind tiredly.</p><p>Byleth didn't say anything, but closed his eyes, exhausted from the day and everything else that had happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time Claude was finished with whatever he was doing, they were both fast asleep. </p><p>Without much thought he crawled into the bed, behind Dimitri and settled down to rest.</p><p>The morning would come without waiting for them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Dimitri awoke, he was covered with the two boys on him— Claude at his right arm, and Byleth on his left, their legs slung over Dimitri's and each other's in a tangled mess. But he figured he didn't mind, not too much anyway, and especially not the warmth it left him with.</p><p>But they had to go sometime.</p><p>Once they were all of adequate awareness, they got ready to leave, only to be greeted by the same blonde woman who had served them the other day.</p><p>"Did you enjoy your night?"</p><p>Byleth nodded whilst Dimitri counted the cash they owed silently, Claude loitering around the lobby with his grabby hands.</p><p>"...There is a thirty gold checkout fee."</p><p>Dimitri looked at the clock, it was well past the morning as the hour hand just started to stroke the second hour. With an inaudible sigh he put down forty pieces of gold. </p><p>"Keep the change."</p><p>Byleth placed the card-key onto the checkout desk before grabbing Claude by his elbow and dragging him out of the busted motel.</p><p> </p><p>The woman could only stare after them with her piercing gaze as she took the gold off the counter, pocketing the 'late check out' fee.</p><p>
  <em>(Hey, a woman has to make ends meet too.) </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As the three stooges trudged on, shoes getting painted with mud and leaves, among other things, they realised that slowly they had no plan.</p><p>"Where are we going?"</p><p>Byleth looked to Claude with a voiceless question.</p><p>"Maybe we should lay low for a while. What if we've been reported missing?"</p><p>Claude shot him a gaze back in response as if to say, '<em>there, I said something.'</em></p><p>He shook his head, "We could maybe... Go to my father's? I mean. I'm not really sure if he still lives where he used to but... I do know that he would be happy to give us a place to stay if we found him." Dimitri stared at him, flinching at the memory of stealing one of his photographs. Oh how it burned his pocket so, or how it would burn his pocket so, if he felt much remorse for it.</p><p>"That sounds like a solid plan. Should we go by train? It'd be faster, and we do have money after all."</p><p>He looked down at the ground, kicking sticks and other rubble away as he walked. </p><p>Would his father even remember him? What if he didn't recognise him? Maybe he's dead. He could be, for all he knew. It was not like his mother to let him be privy to such information, without a certain price. Something that would surely make Byleth regret his curiosity in the first place.</p><p>"Byleth? Are you alright?"</p><p>With all his overthinking, he'd started to slow down, without even realising it. </p><p>"I'm alright. Train is too expensive if we get caught. Uhm, and also, we robbed a guy as well... So."</p><p>Dimitri nodded.</p><p>"I agree. We need to find some sort of house to stay in. Abandoned or not, just for a few days."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a long and treacherous time of walking about and peering into houses, only to be met by weirded-out gazes of the people occupying them, they stumbled upon a fairly nice place. It seemed untouched, at least for a long time, judging by the dust and the lack of use of the equipment for the small garden and its pool.</p><p>"Are you sure it's safe, Claude? What if we break in, and the person comes back and then they call the police?"</p><p>He rolled his eyes, "Relax, you over-stretched piece of cheese, everything will be fine. The place is practically caked with dust and the pool hasn't been touched in ages since its full of leaves and, what is that, dead bugs?" The boy walked to the front where they were met by an overly-full mailbox, "See? Even the postman couldn't be arsed to try and shove all those letters in! There's piles on the porch too. It seems safe, and we aren't staying too long either way." The boy smiled before looked around his feet.</p><p>"What are you looking for?"</p><p>He picked up an already beaten gnome, its sour expression giving him the freaks as he made an awkward face before turning it around in his hands to face the door's glass window, pointy-hat first and all as he forcefully shoved it against the glass and broke it.</p><p>".... Oh."</p><p>Byleth just carried on looking in silence as Claude carefully stuck his hand inside the new hole, grabbing at the doorknob to open it from the inside out.</p><p>"Ta da! Welcome to our humble abode! No need for thanks, though they <em>are</em> very appreciated—"</p><p>His little bow was cut short as Dimitri shoved him aside slightly to enter the house, immediately peeking into all the rooms to check if they were alone.</p><p>"Good find. There doesn't seem to be a sign of anyone."</p><p>Claude rolled his eyes as he wandered into the door-less living room, hopping down on a lengthy couch as his stomach sighed.</p><p>"Anyone else hungry?"</p><p>Byleth nodded bashfully, when was he <em>not</em> ?</p><p>"Great! I'll see if this weirdo has any food in the fridge." Claude hummed as he got up again, walking past a portrait of the assumable house-owner.</p><p>He was a thin-faced man with some of the palest skin they'd ever seen, he also had a stern looking face with about a head of platinum blond hair which reached down to his chest. He seemed severe with his clothing, and much more so by his choice of décor. </p><p>Whence gone, Byleth took to look around the house, examining the shelves and books. Anything he could find, really. But there wasn't much to infer from the man's house. Its walls were empty, with no excessive decoration apart from a few hand-painted paintings that hung about placed awkwardly.</p><p>As if the man who lived here didn't quite know how to make a welcoming environment, his choice of placement of certain furniture seemed less humane and more calculated to appear humane. He had these odd little gnomes even inside his house, they sat on the window sill, staring at any guest who'd invade their sights with this blank and blearily set of too-wide eyes and too-sharp smiles.</p><p>It all seemed so rehearsed in order to bring a fake sense of comfort.</p><p>Eventually he stumbled upon Dimitri by one of the shelves in the upstairs bedroom, he seemed to be half-set on enjoying whatever was on the page and half on really just letting his eyes peruse as if to sate his boredom.</p><p>"Dimitri? What are you looking at? Have you found something strange, because I have, this guy has some weird obsession with gnomes."</p><p>With a hum the blond spoke, hands shutting the book, "Yes. I too had noticed the man's strange fondness for gnomes. At least he has good taste in art and literature. Look at this, he'd published various books full of his own artwork going under the penname of a 'Jeritza'." Dimitri flipped to the first page of the book that contained a printed picture done with something akin to a calligraphy pen, judging by the scratchy lines and bleeding of the ink. </p><p>Overall, Byleth couldn't quite shift his face into the emotion he wanted to. He was conflicted at what he saw. Not to say that the house owner's artwork was not beautiful neither full of form, but rather at the fact that it hit on something strange inside Byleth— A certain sense of discomfort as he stated at the landscape; it's faithless and jagged lines flowed in some sick motion, mimicking the grasses of highlands he'd never seen before, and yet the hashing of the lines seemed gently aggressive. It all came together to illustrate a calm and vengeful thunderstorm above a simple field of grasslands. Yet the odd nature of the penmanship was something Byleth hadn't come across before in all his lessons of art or self study.</p><p>"Isn't it beautiful? The cruelness of a pen? And the permanence of his ink? I find it appealing to the senses", Dimitri smiled, something like softly, but not quite reaching to that. He flipped to show a few more pages to Byleth but the other looked away to gaze at some strewn about papers on a desk near the large bed.</p><p>"I won't say that it was horrible. Because it is far from the truth, yet I find his watercolours here more relaxing to see."</p><p>His fingers brushed over the dusty and now long-soaked papers full of ink. It seemed to Byleth as though two different men shared the same hand to paint such different scenes with the same hand. There was a large, particular piece Byleth picked up to roam his eyes over at, it was a small piece in the centre of the paper; it depicted a serene and melancholy snowstorm, a little house n the distance of snowfall and thin, dying trees whose branches leered towards it. </p><p>It had seemed lonely, but somehow, Byleth found contentment in its brushstrokes full of water.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dimitri could only stare at the expanse of Byleth's back, before his eyes lowered back down to the age he had shown him. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe there was a chance to reconsider. Not just the paper full of ink strokes, but everything. Did he really want to kill Byleth? This average, plain, unmissable wallflower, that grew like a weed in the side of a family road?</p><p>When it was all said and done, he had planted something in the thickets of Dimitri's skin, a seed that wormed it way through his flesh and to his core; a sparkling of emotion he didn't dare to feel, neither to admit.</p><p>Perhaps there was time...</p><p>No matter how fleeting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>song: have you ever loved someone - the vocaleers<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. i'm sorry, so sorry, that i was such a fool...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>I didn't know, love could be so cruel.<i></i></i>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw; threats of r*pe, violence, and underage drinking, murder</p><p>EDIT: inserted the art at the end of the chapter. thank u so much for 200 hits (ToT)</p><p>EDIT 2: re-wrote the noncon scene to have some more detail so you can actually tell what is going on. it doesnt go into a lot of sexually violent detail or any desc. of any r*pe, just sexual violence ? i am not sure how to describe it but non-con is what probably fits best.  anyway its not much</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a bit of a wait, Claude had actually managed to cook something of the barely in-date food left frozen in the fridge's freezer section. It wasn't anything spectacular or mind-blowing, but it was enough to fill their stomachs.</p><p>"Well, I guess you can cook at least..."</p><p>Dimitri mumbled into his sleeve as he wiped his face with it whilst Claude simple laughed victoriously, "Finally, a compliment from you." Byleth just rolled his eyes as he leaned back onto the cool tiles surrounding the outline of the pool, his naked feet dangling in the water.</p><p>"Will either of you even stop arguing?"</p><p>Claude and Dimitri looked at each other before glancing away, embarrassed at being caught.</p><p> </p><p>Byleth just smiled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After enjoying the silence for a bit, they went inside as the air started to cool and the sun started to set. Claude went toward the old record player, selecting a random song before placing the needle on the record and starting to rain the alcohol cabinet.</p><p>He took a bottle of old wine before he shoved the coffee table out of the way, and with that he took a long drink of the wine before he started to sway and shuffle his feet to the music. He closed his eyes and let his body take him whichever way it would.</p><p>
  <em>Comb your hair and paint and powder</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You act proud and I'll act prouder</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You sing loud and I'll sing louder; tonight we're settin' the woods on fire</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Most people get embarrassed dancing in front of an almost complete stranger. Claude didn't. It was a time for him to be himself, unapologetically, without awkward silences or arguments. </p><p>Byleth sauntered out of the kitchen area and joined Claude in his silly ritual, reaching his hand out for the bottle shyly before Claude shoved it into his palm. He drank some and make a grossed-out face which made the tan boy laugh as he took back the bottle and set it down at the coffee table. </p><p>With a wave of his hand, he reached out his palm facing upward.</p><p>"May I have this dance?"</p><p>Byleth just laughed as they hooked their hands together, Claude other one resting at the bottom of his back whilst Byleth's was curled around Claude's neck comfortably— They danced like fools together in the middle of the room, ignorant of Dimitri's sulk session on the couch, hands nursing a bottle of vodka from the cabinet of alcohol the painter who lived here owned.</p><p><br/><em>You're my gal and I'm your feller</em><br/><em>Dress up in your frock of yeller</em><br/><em>I'll look swell but you'll look sweller; settin' the woods on fir</em>e</p><p> </p><p>As they pranced around the room, scuffing up the carpet, Byleth was twirled around Claude's hand before being set free and he wandered right over to Dimitri.</p><p>"Dance with me? Please?"</p><p>He smiled so softly at the blond, so sweetly that even he couldn't resist. The boy didn't dance, yet where Byleth was involved it was something worth not missing out.</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>Dimitri set the vodka down, standing up and pulling Byleth close to himself, their arms reached out to the side and their fingers hooked together, their other arms around each other's waists as they languidly took steps. Byleth bumped their noses together, closing the gap between themselves to give the other a slow kiss before pulling back and looking up at him with apple red cheeks which made the other bite his lip with anticipation.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I don't care who thinks we're silly</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You'll be daffy I'll be dilly</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We'll order up two bowls of chili; settin' the woods on fire</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Claude took Byleth's wrist and frowned at the blond,"Byleth... I have to know", he began with a face flush from the alcohol, "Do you— Do you like me? Do you like him more?" Dimitri's eyebrows furled together but Byleth squeezed his hands as he guided them both toward the couch. Claude shifted to lay down and place his head on Byleth's lap stubbornly whilst Dimitri hogged the space of his left shoulder.</p><p>"I... I like the both of you? Erm. I think. I think you're both great. And, just, Dimitri makes me feel so safe... and I know how much you care about me, Claude. It's just. Is that okay? I don't really know if that's something you guys would be okay with?"</p><p>Dimitri kissed Byleth's neck lightly,"... I know I want you all to myself. But, if Claude doesn't hog you, I don't mind. Does this mean you're going to have to kiss him too? I don't really want to kiss him but, you can? I guess?"</p><p>Claude just glared at him and Dimitri glared back petulantly, like a child.</p><p>Byleth gave Dimitri a kiss on the top of his head, hand stroking Claude's tangled brown curls, before letting out a small laugh, "No, you don't have to kiss him unless you want to—?"</p><p>"No. I don't think I do."</p><p>Claude sat up, "You're so rude! I'll have you know I am <em>very  </em>kissable! Am I not? Byleth, tell him I'm kissable." He crossed his arms, staring at Byleth expectantly. Byleth just looped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, "See? I am so kissable that Byleth just kissed me. 0 Dimitri, 1 for Claude."</p><p>The brunet looked utterly pleased with himself whilst Dimitri rolled his eyes, he had a lot more kisses under his belt but he was going to let him have this one out of the kindness of his cold, dark heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eventually Byleth fell asleep after a few more drinks, his head in Claude's lap whilst his legs were on Dimitri's. The two looked at each other before playing rock, paper, scissors.</p><p>"Rock."</p><p>"Scissors."</p><p>Dimitri looked to Claude, "Fuuuuuck. Fine. I'll take him upstairs." He gently man handled Byleth over his shoulder, carrying him out of the living room and up the stairs whilst Claude went outside to have a cigarette by the poolside shed.</p><p>He carefully placed Byleth onto the bed, pulling off his dirty jeans and tucking him into bed. Gently, he pushed aside Byleth's long and painted bangs. The colour of his hair was almost murky, the blue fading and giving way to reveal a brown-y blonde coloured roots, much like the colour of his father's hair. Dimitri grabbed one of his hands, gently brushing his thumb over the back of it. </p><p>Usually, Dimitri would be itching to kill the boy. To see that pretty face cry out, and his hands cling to him desperately as he tried to keep breathing. Maybe even carve the look of betrayal into his brain until the light dulled and his stare would die on him. Lately, he's been having these <em>feelings</em>. And he didn't really, have those, not until now anyways. He never really had to think of just not feeling, that dullness in his chest was something he didn't have to force. It was something natural, something that lingered wordlessly and clung to his skin like sweat.</p><p>But recently, he has been having them. These weird sensations of flutters and aches and pangs, and the burning in his stomach whenever Byleth smiled at him or kissed him, or even just caressed their fingers together, not even holding, just barely a ghostly brush of their limbs.</p><p>"Dimitri...?"</p><p>The boy just kissed him softly, tenderly, like they were barely there.</p><p>"Go back to bed, okay?" </p><p>Byleth stared at him for a moment before closing his eyes and sighing, turning slightly to the side before he resumed his sleep clumsily. The blond smiled and stood up, leaving the bedroom to go to the bathroom instead. It was time he cleaned himself up a bit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌸</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On the other hand, Claude was finished with his smoke break and he came back inside, fixing to look through all manners of drawers and the such like to see if he could find anything else interesting. As he rummaged through the bookshelf he found an old, beat-up shoe box. He opened it to find a bunch of old tapes and a recorder camera. He looked past the tapes and saw some photos, still fresh with colour and barely faded. He took the box out of its hiding place and sat down to watch one of the several tapes.</p><p> </p><p><em>"Recording 13.... It is, the 2nd of September.  Ignatz here is feeling fine, is he not?  Do you not? Well? Answer... or you know what will happen."  </em>There was a tall man, his face looked similar to the portrait of the man they'd seen throughout the house. Yet he looked somehow much more stern from the short clip he saw of him before the camera faced a younger boy, no, a young teenager. The boy was terrified, and cowered a big bed, sheets dirty and caked in something brownish red, like blood. His voice was shrill as he screamed behind the cloth rag which was stuffed in his mouth, the man filming laughing, as if he was enjoying all this.</p><p>It made the tan brunet queasy.</p><p>Claude could barely look away, he felt sick as he kept watching, but his eyes couldn't move away until the short video ended. He flipped the pictures in his palm over and shuffled through them, there was various pictures of older teens, abused and broken, skin battered like a mound of sand on the beach. He pursed his lips as he let a sick shiver run through his body, bile rising in his throat before he dashed to the kitchen and threw up in the sink, leaving the pictures to fall under the coffee table and the camera to be crushed by the couch cushions from his sudden movements as he got up.</p><p>Just as he was done emptying his stomach he heard the front door open, without a word he creeped behind the door frame, eyes peering at the coated figure who stepped in and looked around the house. The man entered the living room and Claude moved to keep out of his sight as the man looked to the coffee table, which was decorated with bottles of alcohol the three boys drank the night before. Then, he peered back to the enterance, to see it lining with some odd socks and pairs of shoes.</p><p>He made a hum before placing his back by the bottom of the stairs, and his coat over the stair's rail. The elder man picked up one of the decoration axes which were mounted next to the stairs on the wall before he started to slowly walk up the stairs without a sound to find the intruder in his home. </p><p>The brunet's mind started to race. What about Byleth? About Dimitri? He had to do something. He quickly dashed to the sink, snatching a knife out of one of the cutlery draws and sneaked up the stairs just as he heard the bedroom door creak open.</p><p>"Oh...? Well hello there."</p><p>As he made his way up the stairs he heard a gasp, the creasing of sheets and the sound of the mattress springs crying under the man's weight, not soo after a whimper and he clutched the knife closer.</p><p>"I—I'm sorry."</p><p>"There's no need to be afraid.. Did you break into my house? Drank all my wine, did you not?" </p><p>He crawled along the floorboards of the second floor, careful to make little noise before he could look past the doorframe and see the man sitting next to Byleth— who had curled himself in the bedsheets, unconsciously trying to put some sort of gap between himself and the stranger.</p><p>"Naughty. That's what you are. Are you running from someone? Is that why you came to me?"</p><p>The boy shook his head stubbornly, eyes never leaving the man who shuffled closer to him. </p><p>"Are you on your own?"</p><p>There was a wordless nod, thinking it'd be better if he lied.</p><p>In case Dimitri was near-by, or anyone, really.</p><p>Claude saw the man brush his hand against Byleth's cheek, pale fingers leaving to cradle the warm cheek of the boy on the bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dimitri open the bathroom door, blue eyes peeking out of the gap and at the man who was on the bed with their boyfriend.</p><p>"... Have you been eating my porridge too?" The man leaned in closer, the hand that rested on Byleth's cheek now coming to comb through his patchy died hair,"Hm, Goldilocks?"</p><p>Byleth looked confused as he trembled, "What?"</p><p>The man frowned at his voice and made a shushing sound,"Shhh, shh shhh. Don't say a word." He shifted closer to Byleth and sneaked a hand under the covers, and then soon his shirt, which crawled up his goose bump covered skin to thumb over his stomach and settle on his side, where the man could feel his ribs through his skin.</p><p>"Please. Please don't." </p><p>Byleth sounded terrified, his body tremored as the hand in his hair turned violent and his head was pulled back with a fistful of his thick hair. There was tears coming out of his eyes as the man looked at him questioningly, "Don't what?" He squirmed as the man's hand under the covers shifted to instead hold his harm firmly, "Hey. Don't make this difficult." He let out a small whimper which turned into a sob at the disgusting feeling of those hands over him. </p><p>The man breathed in with a hint of arousal.</p><p>"Oh... Are you— Are you a virgin?"</p><p>Byleth cried out at the man as his hands were twisted and he was pushed back onto the bed, the covers straying off the bed and halfway onto the floor because of the way the man was pushing his weight onto his smaller frame in order to cage him from getting up and running. The bastard pushed his face into the right crook of his neck and bit down roughly enough to draw sprigs of blood, and Byleth let out a scream of pain as the man shoved his knee between his legs and painfully pushed it into his crotch, in an attempt to immobilise him.</p><p>He could feel his disgusting teeth lodged in his skin, brutalising it like a tenderiser and he could barely do anything but stubbornly shove and kick against the other in any small way he could until he had a chance to free a limb.</p><p>Then suddenly, one stray hand Byleth had managed to tug free was now clawing at the head by his neck, his shaky thumb making its way down to gouge at the predator's eye. The man leaned away in pain, growling like an animal and Byleth was kneeing him in the stomach as hard as he could, ignoring the pain it brought to his still tender loins.</p><p> </p><p>"You fucking bi—?"</p><p> </p><p>There was a dark gurgle, and he saw something start to come out of the wretched mouth that used to be on his own flesh, it was disgusting and dark as it splattered against his own skin, smelling of pennies and bronze.</p><p>Then, he felt that something paint warmth all over him. </p><p>He opened his eyes to see the man stare at him, one of his hands clutching at his neck where blood came pouring out all over Byleth, coating his skin and shirt, seeping through the cracks in his lips and into his mouth. His eyes frantically looked around the room as he crawled against the headboard,  covering himself with the sheets before his eyes finally landed on the two other boys, Dimitri slightly bloodied himself whereas Claude just stood at the doorway, knife which was previously in his hand now dropped to the ground as he watched Dimitri push the man to the floor before he backed away, with equally shaky forms as his lovers.</p><p>Once he saw his partners, he came off the bed and stood by Dimitri.</p><p>"Is... Is he?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Byleth swallowed difficultly.</p><p>"Are you.. Are you a virgin?"</p><p>"...Yeah."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>He looked at Dimitri with a complicated expression on his face, his hands couldn't stop shaking. Claude came up to Byleth and put a gentle hand on his shoulder as he looked to Dimitri as well.</p><p>"No shit."</p><p>Byleth looked away from Dimitri and to the body, whilst Dimitri just stared at Byleth, soaked in blood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Fuck."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>                 </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>song: i'm sorry - brenda lee<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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